Thirtytwo Teeth Crew 940

If you’re like me, and I know you are, you ride exclusively for fun.  You don’t ride for fitness.  Riding bikes is entirely different from a trip to the gym or, god forbid, a run.  That being said, there’s nothing more satisfying than conquering your threshold, ragging out your muscles, and just getting generally winded to the point where you would really rather just be left in the woods to die.  You know that you’ve just peaked, and your performance and speed will certainly benefit.  note: the same cannot be said for a road ride, of course.

So, where do we draw the proverbial line between cycling for fun and cycling for the sake of fitness.  Naturally, if you’re like me, and again, I know you are, that line is placed squarely at the point of enjoyment.   It becomes quite clear that you’ve crossed that line when you do the following for the sake of performance and/or fitness:

1. You set an alarm to go ride.  Yeah, I know that alarms are necessary for some who will sleep until noon, but I have dogs and a baby.  I’m up at daylight, and I don’t need to be up at 5 am to go ride my bike.   The only acceptable reason to set an alarm to go ride is during the heat of summer.
2. Your friends see you drinking Michelob Ultra.  Seriously, this is ridiculous.  We all know that they guys who drink Michelob Ultra are faster, probably have amazing sex lives and make lots of money.  You’ve seen the commercials.  But come on, either drink real beer, or don’t at all.
3. You own a wheelset for your trainer.  I’m not talking about the guys who race and have a backup wheelset.  That is another thing entirely.  I’m talking about the guy who has a set of training wheels and tyres simply for rainy days when you ride on the trainer, which brings me to #4.
4. You ride inside.  Bikes are for the outdoors.  If its raining, you don’t ride.  That’s why we have Xbox, women, and beer.  
5. You look like this guy:    This is not natural.   Cyclists do not look like this.  Quit swimming, quit running, and get back on the bike.
6. Two words: Spin Class

There’s certainly more to this list, but at least I can get you pointed in the right, not wrong direction.

Our good buddy Stevil, just recently found out from his doc after an x-ray and weeks of wrist pain “that it would be best if [he] took a break from none other than riding bikes off road and drinking alcohol.”  He went on to say that “stunned, the best analogy [he] could come up with was that the only other thing she could have told [him] that made less sense was that it would serve [him] well to spend the duration of [his] healing process walking backwards on [his] hands, naked and only breathing out of [his] ass.”

Tearjerkingly beautiful words of widsom.

Its Monday, Crew, we’re all to well to be at work today, so lets get our priorities straight and get at it in the only way we know how.

    xoxo,

    Johnny