Thirtytwo Teeth Crew 940

I like to think I’ve already befriended all of the raddest people on earth*, but lets face it.  There are other rad people out there.

One of whom, has a website that you should have already seen by now if you call yourself a cyclist.  I’m talking about HB Cut the Course in 1990.  Unfortunately/fortunately, we don’t know who the hell does the site.  Like the Snob, his anonymity is likely for his own physical and financial security.

The site is about H-Ball, who cut the course, in 1990. 

Here’s a video of HB saying some stuff about some stuff:

HB telling You Stuff he Knows

So anyways, I felt inclined to email this dude, and he felt inclined to post it and a reply.  Here ya go:  (My email is in italic bold black, and his reply is in bold red.)

Man, do you just see downhill as the easy fucking target that it is, or are you personally a fan? Well, hold on. To be fair, you have done a nice job ripping the roadie fag industry, but hey, lets face it. That’s like picking on the fat retarded kid. At least the DH guys, the stupid fucking jocks that they are, still have both testicles swinging.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this except that XC dudes are so much radder that they’ll come to your* house to fuck your mom, eat the badass enchilada dinner she just cooked for you, then fuck your sister and your girlfriend (if you have one, which you probably don’t.)

Hey did you see that story on Velonews about that guy? No? Really? Me either. High five!

Your radness is only eclipsed by your sheet badassness. Keep it up, fucko.

Xoxo

*not “you.” duh.

To answer, the steward of this site (me) actually digs XC racing and is a fan, but that sport is dumb right now for so many reasons. To start, there’s a real lack of personalities, at least on a public-front level. Those guys have turned themselves into the food-weighing “roadie fags” of whom you speak, only on the road side there is at least all of the daily soap opera drama to follow for entertainment. Most of them are so dedicated to training they are left blank-faced and mute, elevating their legs in a hotel room somewhere gnawing on a 2.5 ounce leaf salad while their stomach growls constantly.

That said, Pro XC riders are tough SOB’s, but these days it is hard for me to identify with their sport at all. The World Champ was on a 19lb hardtail with flatbars, and some of those guys run sew-ups. Sew-ups? When was the last time you went on a bike ride with your sew-ups on? You don’t, because you might flat and there isn’t a tech area out there where someone is going to hand you another wheel.

So Absalon will usually win the World Cups, Kabush usually wins the North American National stuff, and they ride light bikes with lockouts from whoever they can find to give them one. There’s not much more to comment on. On a local level, though, XC racing still seems to thrive because it isn’t the BS sport it’s National/World-level counterpart has become since the Olympics came into play.

Satisfaction feels good.

xoxo,

Johnny

*Seriously, high five, if you’re my friend already.

PS.  This site is also not awful: http://theteamrobot.blogspot.com/

Tags: BikeSnobNYC, downhill, Greg Herbold, H-Ball, HB, theteamrobot.blogspot.com, Velonews

First we squirted the Cat 1 racers with Super Soakers, of course:

Blastin' DBW With a Vengance

Yeah, I started out fast n’ hot. I was on Chop’s tail after he passed me, but he was racing hard, man. I’m impressed. Near the end of the 1st lap my bar hit a tree (on a super narrow tree gate ), and I went down, balls to the bar-end (literally). Puked (combo of getting hit in the balls and antibiotics, maybe, I dunno). Rode mebbe 1/2 mile with crooked bars, bleeding and bruised. Came upon Ray. Ray straightened my bars, Gina gave me some encouragement. I wanted to bail, since I had puked all my water/gu/etc, but I finished the lap. I rolled up to my buddy Gary at the Bike Path. He doublechecked my bars and topped off my camel with cold water. I rode off for lap 2. I heard Rev calling my name, making fun of me, slapped Yater a high five. This all felt good, got my spirits back up. Went into lap 2 stronger. My balls were still hurting (man, this seems kinda funny typing this now ), but I pressed on determined not to DFL. 1/4 mile left, Scott Holmes hands me a beer in a DORBA water bottle. I drank it and finished the race, beer in hand.

Johnny Still Smilin' Yeah Man!

Big Pig Ups to all the other Pigs who also kicked butt, including Chop, Ch4os, Cope, BenWright, BigDaddy, Shadow, Kocian for the handups, Yater for the hand sumpins, Traildust, Bain, Garthhog, Seamonster, Aggie88, KStine, Los, BigPig for the costumin’, ScubaLuke for making this entire race/series possible as the most badass race director ever to walk the earth, RookieRacer for providing support to Luke and the rest of the RJSC, 1+1=1 and everyone else. Special shout out to Shannon “Mr. Clean” Wyatt for finishing an amazing result in SS class. Way to gut it out to you to, Zippo. And Corey….welcome to the team, man!!!!

All The Pigs

It was a perfect XC mountain bike race. I had a blast!  I love you guys.  Go Big Pig!!

xoxo,
Johnny

Tags: Dorba, Oak Cliff Nature Preserve, OCNP

If you’re like me, and I know you are, mountain bikes are the only appropriate way to truly enjoy cycling.  Anything else is just filler.

 Today, between regularly scheduled business and business (toilet or otherwise), I stumbled upon Stevil’s lastest rant, much to my dismay?

“You know, on my Wednesday afternoon solo speed cycle ride in my stretchy pants and tap shoes I began reflecting on all of the bitching I’ve seen and heard the past few years about the explosion of tarck bikes and those who love them. It occurred to me that 20 some odd years ago, a common topic among my two wheeled brethren and myself was that we all wished there were more folks who rode bikes thereby creating a greater visual presence which we hoped would result in a more common understanding and acceptance of our ilk. Today, as in this very moment, there are more folks riding bikes, and appreciating bikes, which is in fact creating a louder dialog among city planners and so fourth than I’ve ever seen before, but simultaneously I hear a bunch of clap trap about ’stupid fixter this, and stupid fakenger that.’
Of course these folks aren’t the only newish group who are in our fold, but they seem to be on the receiving end of a bulk of the ire, and frankly, I just don’t get it.
More people on bikes?
Check.
A boost to the industry and the lifestyle which we hold so dear?
Check.
More bike shops, alley cat races (and bike events in general), and a greater visual presence?
Check, and check, even if the presence (see: acceptance) is in tiny, and sometimes unrecognizable increments.

More people are on bikes now than ever in my lifetime, but they’re not on the right kind of bikes, or their clothes are silly, or they don’t embrace the history which we take so seriously, or they take themselves too seriously, and they don’t have that right because they’ve only been riding for a year…

Anyway, if anybody can explain to me what the big deal is, I’m all ears.

Ears and eyebrows.

Dr. Stevil Phil

And that reminds me, I have big eye brows. Well, truthfully, I have one big eyebrow, and sometimes when I ride it gets filled with sweat and man, when I’m peacefully riding along and that dam breaks, It’s like getting a vile of vodka and cat urine dumped in my eyes.

It’s a wonder I’ve not met up with a business end of a ditch because of it.

Ok, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Back to business.”

Well I’ll be damned.   Lets back this trainwreck of a truck up right now!

xoxo,

Johnny

Tags: fixed gear bicycle, HTABL, Stevil, your mom

A great short video by Danny MacAskill.  Enjoy.

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xoxo,

Johnny

Tags: Danny MacAskill, trials