Jun 11 2010

Bicycles are wonderful, of course. For children.

Category: Bike BlogJohnny @ 8:43 am

If you’re like me, and I know you are, you tend to take the doucherati and smarm found on the internet with about as much of a grain of salt as, say, the judge at Lindsay Lohan’s trial.  Cada vez un cuando, I see something out there in the abysmal series of tubes that takes it to the next level.

I stumbled up on this particular column, of which I will soon reveal, while perusing Stevil’s site, as I tend to do around 8:30 am after having been at work for roughly and hour and finding myself with 7 remaining hours with nothing to do.   Its damn tolerable, so I advise you to check it out.   Moreover, he found it on the Car Whisperer’s site.

Well, theone who the Car Whisperer names their “Asshole of the Week” is none other than D. Dowd MuskaHere’s a photo.  If this grosses you out, go look at Russell Crowe’s asshole for 5 minutes and take a cold shower.  You’ll be fine.  I’m not actually going to post a photo of this guy on my blog.  Its my fucking blog, so you get pictures of cool stuff, like this:

 

Anywhoo, so now’s the time where you should read the column, so I can proceed to say how much it sucks and you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Ok….go.

Now, for starters, riding bikes on busy streets is retarded.  I don’t commute to work (by bike) because it defeats the purpose of going to work in the first place.  I go to work, to make money, to feed my family.  I have life insurance, but I like to think that, in general, I’m more valuable to them alive.

All of that having irregardleslly been said, people who do commute to work by bike, and don’t have mouths to feed, are awesome.  The fact that we, as a society, are becoming more bike friendly is awesome.

Muska goes one to quote sources so to indicate that cyclists are rude and arrogant.  I really can’t argue with this.  Direct your attention to the 32T slogan located at the top of your browser.  Thanks.

I should probably wrap this up before I alienate all my meat-eating hippie friends.

Here’s to a weekend of our kids paying bills, driving cars and changing our diapers, so we adults have time to ride our bikes.

They’s dry dirt out in they stompin’ grounds.  Put some rubber on it.  And for those of you scoring at home, 2 wheels good; four wheels bad.  …as long as they’re on dirt.

xoxo,

Johnny

cross20guns

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Jun 07 2010

Its been too long since our last post

Category: Non-BikeJohnny @ 8:42 am

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Dec 18 2009

Toobless: A Handy Dandy Guide

Category: Bike BlogJohnny @ 9:09 am

1. Buy Stan’s spoke tape.


-Install per Stan’s instructions specific to your wheel.
-If you’re like me, and $5 for spoke tape seems expensive, you can buy 1″ Gorilla Tape for $4.97 + tax*.

2. Get some valve stems.      


-Or just cut one out of an old tube! (Removable core is preferable, but not crucial.)

3. Buy a quart of Stan’s Sealant.

4. Install tyre, soapy it up like Stan says on his videos**, inflate.

5. Remove, add Sealant, re-soapy, re-inflate.

6. Ride.

 

*Just get the Stan’s tape.
**Follow the video for the specifics.

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Nov 09 2009

Funniest MTB Video Ever

Category: Bike BlogJohnny @ 8:28 am

From Drunk Cyclist.

xoxo,

Johnny

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